📖 Story of the Week
When I attended college at the University of Minnesota, one of my roommates, Raoul Schwark, played the number one singles position on the men’s tennis team.
Hailing from the red clay of Germany, Raoul was an absolutely dominant player, adapting to the Minnesota hard courts like a pro.
Time and again, he routinely defeated outstanding players across the Big Ten and NCAA, surgically dismantling his opponents and finding a way to win no matter the challenge.
Raoul was truly at the peak of his powers during his senior year at the Big Ten Men’s Singles Championship.
He had drawn the tournament’s top seed, Bryan Koniecko from Ohio State—who also happened to be the #1-rated player in the nation at the time.
I woke up early that morning to get in a quick warm-up with Raoul, and three grueling hours later, I cheered wildly as he walked to the net with his hands raised in triumphant victory!
With all of that success, imagine my surprise when, as we casually chatted afterward in the Baseline Tennis Center, Raoul told me that he was nervous before every match.
“What are you talking about?” I asked in disbelief. “You must have a 90% winning percentage throughout your career at Minnesota. What do you have to be nervous about?”
In his typically understated way, Raoul replied, “It’s true! I feel nervous before every single match—and I need that to play.”
Now I was really confused. Maybe something was getting lost in translation?
He went on to explain, “I know it doesn’t make any sense, but I need the nerves in order to play my best. If I feel that way, I know I’m ready to go.”
“In fact,” he added, “the only time I get truly worried is if I’m not nervous—because then I know I’m not prepared to compete that day.”
Lost? So was I. At the time, this felt like a riddle I couldn’t quite unravel.
But that short conversation stuck with me.
Over time, I began to understand: this was an absolute masterclass in self-awareness, activation, and composure.
😬 Nerves Are Necessary
Raoul had completely redefined his relationship with nerves—and in doing so, taught me a powerful lesson: nerves are necessary.
Feeling nervous doesn’t indicate weakness. It signals readiness.
This state is often referred to as activation—a sign that your body is in a heightened state of alert.
With activation comes adrenaline. You can use this physiological response to run faster, jump higher, and hit the ball harder.
Instead of the paralyzing fear we often associate with nervousness, activation can actually help give you a competitive edge—allowing you to perform at your absolute best.
🦋 The Butterflies Fly in Formation
What if your nerves go beyond activation and start to feel overwhelming?
This sensation is often described as having “butterflies.”
It’s uncomfortable. It might even feel like a physical irritation in the pit of your stomach.
When students experience this, I remind them: “The butterflies fly in formation.”
This phrase acknowledges what they’re feeling while reminding them that they can still guide their response.
Start by practicing box breathing to calm down.
The method is simple:
- Inhale for 4 seconds
- Hold for 4 seconds
- Exhale for 4 seconds
- Hold for 4 seconds
Repeat as needed until your anxiety starts to dissipate.
Then, instead of panicking—plan.
Remind yourself: this is a normal, natural response to competition. It means you care. It means your body is getting ready.
As you reframe the feeling and de-escalate the fear, you can return to using your nerves as a signal of strength.
Finally, give yourself some clear, concrete instructions for how you want to approach the next point or match.
Having a simple plan helps eliminate the fog of uncertainty and restores your sense of control.
🎾 Match Point
Instead of running away from nerves—embrace them.
As I often remind my own kids at home: “You can’t be brave without being scared.”
Nerves aren’t something to fear. They’re an opportunity—an unexpected tool that can help you perform your best.
When you learn to see nerves as necessary, you turn a weakness into a strength.
Try it out—and let me know how it goes.
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See you next week!
