Story of the Week
When I played in my first Sectional Championship, I remember being absolutely shocked by the level of competition.
As a new recreational tennis player, I had no idea what I was walking into. The players I faced had vastly more experience, and I was in way over my head.
My matches ended so quickly, it would’ve made sense to leave the car running!
And like many kids, I took those losses really hard.
Fast forward 25 years and you’ll find a very different version of me: a calm, well-adjusted competitor and coach.
Consistently, parents, players, and fellow coaches tell me they’re surprised by how relaxed I am while watching my students compete.
What’s a tense, emotional experience for many is actually quite relaxing for me—and that’s because I see competition differently than most.
The common thread between my younger self and those tense spectators is this: They often view competition through a binary lens—winning vs. losing.
At Colossal Tennis, we teach something different: We reframe that binary mindset into a more constructive one—winning and learning.
Winning and Learning
The concept is simple—and powerful:
You either get the result you want, or the lesson you need.
When you view matches through the lens of winning and learning, fear begins to disappear—and empowerment takes its place.
In fact, once you’ve committed to this mindset, you’ll start to feel like you’ve already won before stepping on the court.
Why?
Because you’ve had the courage to put your ego on the line—to enter an environment that challenges you and teaches you exactly what you need to improve.
No matter the result, there’s something good waiting for you.
Whereas “winning and losing” promotes a zero-sum mindset and can trap players in self-doubt, “winning and learning” fosters a growth mindset—and that mindset is what propels athletes forward.
Coping with Losing
Still, maybe you’re thinking: “That all sounds great—but am I really supposed to feel good about losing?”
Honestly? No.
I’ve never met an athlete who likes to lose. I’m not encouraging anyone to pretend that defeat feels good.
But I am suggesting that we treat loss as an opportunity—a moment to regroup, reflect, and respond productively.
Let’s be real: in a 32-person draw, only one player wins the tournament. That means 31 others must learn how to handle losing in a healthy, constructive way.
The key to coping with loss lies in learning from it.
One of the simplest, most effective habits I encourage after every match—win or lose—is this:
Ask yourself two questions:
- What’s one thing that worked well?
- What’s one thing I can improve?
Even in a blowout victory, there’s always something to refine. And even in a painful loss, there’s always something to celebrate.
This reflection helps keep players grounded—not too high after a win, not too low after a loss. It fosters clarity, emotional stability, and long-term growth.
Character is Built in Consolation
The best way to move past a tough match? Play another one.
When I was growing up, we didn’t have consolation brackets—just one tournament a month, single elimination.
That meant one loss could linger for weeks. And yes, I often carried that frustration with me.
Today, things are different. Modern tournaments typically include backdraws or consolation matches. And that’s a secret weapon for growth.
Not only do these extra matches give you more reps (and more chances to win and learn), but they also develop something even more important: character.
Still, I’m always surprised by the number of withdrawals I see in the backdraws.
Yes, legitimate injuries happen. But far too often, the real issue isn’t physical—it’s pride.
And that’s a missed opportunity.
I also used to struggle after losses, but I learned that playing another match—especially when you don’t feel like it—is one of the best ways to bounce back.
That rebound, that mental shift, is a skill that benefits you in tennis and in life.
Final Thoughts
My road to tennis success has been long and winding—but full of lessons. If I could go back, I’d teach my younger self how to extract value from every loss.
And that’s what I hope to pass on to my students today: Let my struggles be your shortcuts.
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👉 Aces and Faults
Huge congratulations to all the players who competed this past weekend. You tested your skills, challenged your emotions, and stepped into the arena.
Win or learn—hold your heads high. See you on the court! 🎾
